Reframing “I can’t” to “how can I?”

How many times have you told yourself "I can't because....."

I can't exercise because I have no one to watch the kids.

I can't catch up with friends because it's too hard to take the kids with me.

I can't afford to join a gym.

I can't work on my own business or go back to work because it's too hard to organise child care.

When we're not getting our needs met, we can feel isolated and lonely.

Especially with the way our world is right now, when we may actually be isolated due to lockdowns and our ability to socialise and connect is limited.

Or perhaps you are trying to start a business or wanting to return to work. Maybe you're looking for ways to feel valued when the often thankless tasks of mothering leave you feeling invisible. I have been here many times throughout my motherhood journey and from my experience, I can tell you that when we live from a mindset of "I can't", we feel disempowered and trapped.

So what if instead of saying "I can't" you reframe this to "how can I?"

How can I exercise with the kids around?

Maybe join a mums & bubs fitness class or go where there's a creche.

How can I catch up with my friends?

Let's go to a kids play centre or meet up at a playground and bring takeaway coffees.

How can I keep up my exercise in ways that don't cost anything?

I can walk around my neighbourhood with the baby in a pram. I can kick a ball around the yard with the kids. I can sign up for free yoga online.

How can I work on my business or job around my family commitments?

I can set one or two very specific goals and focus only on these. I can ask for help looking after the kids (partner, daycare, grandparents) so I have time to commit to working on my business. Or maybe you have a friend you can share child care arrangements with (this is what I did when my babes were little while I worked!).

These options might not be perfect, but they can allow you to meet your needs for movement, connection or feeling valued in small ways and top up your emotional cup.

If you’re looking for support on your motherhood journey, join my free group, The Mother Nurture Collective on Facebook.